Phan One-ShotsDrabbles
by poisonberry nightshade
Summary: Just a bunch of AUs and One-Shots.
1. Fireworks

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 **Genre:** Fluffy af

 **Word count:** 870

It was the 31st of December.

Dan panted as he pushed his hand to fix his fringe. His hair was killing him, they were everywhere, curly and unorganized. His left hand was holding a tray of cookies he baked. It wasn't the peek of his culinary skill, but it was something.

He was ten minutes late and he felt terrible because of it. He didn't want Phil to wait, or think that Dan had forgot. Dan would never forget Phil, he was so significant in his life that without him, nothing seemed to make any sense at all.

He had shoved the cookies on a nice box (saved for these kinds of occasions). He had sprinted towards the tube. It was tight, he was squeezed him in anything but a comfortable way, but at least he got in.

The door swung open a few seconds after he knocked, revealing Martyn, Phil's older brother, with a lopsided grin. He held a red cup and Dan wondered if it containedalcohol.

"Dan!" He beamed, a bit too loudly. He placed his free hand behind Dan's slender back, and began to push him inside the Lester residence.

The whole house smelled of Christmas and a mix of Autumn and Winter. It was filled with the smell of Pumpkin Spice and cinnamon. Family photos were guarded by bits of tinsel. Candles were lit and music was playing through the large speakers.

Dan found himself waiting for Phil in his living room, his grandparents chatting with other relatives Dan never saw, despite being best friends with Phil since Year 5.

He heard footsteps descending from the steps of the stairs above him. Phil was here and Dan knew it.

Phil was wearing a jumper that was meant to blind people. It was shiny and glittered with different colors, shaped like an exploding firework. It suited Phil's build perfectly. Dan nearly blushed. Not like he knew anything about Phil's build.

His fringe was pushed slightly back, his hair still raven black. His blue eyes sparkled as much as his jumper. After all those years they spent together, they were very mesmerizing right now.

Very, very mesmerizing.

"Such a festive jumper Phil!" Dan stood up and grinned. Phil laughed.

"You shouldn't be surprised." He replied.

"Who said I was?"

"Let's just go, Dan. I wanna see the fireworks."

Of course Dan knew.

It was 11:50pm and Phil couldn't wait. He just couldn't, and he was jumping.

Dan stared at him, smiling.

They were by the lake, a railing separating them from the water. Others were around them, most were couples, some families, Dan felt like he and Phil wee the only ones who were platonic.

Except they weren't. Dan liked Phil. Dan _loved_ Phil. More than anyone or anything. His heart felt heavy and light at the same time when he met Phil. It felt like Dan wanted to leap and scream. Phil's ecstasy had always been contagious.

Dan had heard the term soulmate since a very young age. Since kindergarten, even. He never believed it existed. His family was torn apart a few years after he was born. His mother always told him she regretted marrying his father. He had always been confused.

Until he shook hands with Phil in the playground, agreeing that they were going to eat lunch together, everyday.

Friends forever, that's the plan.

Maybe they can't fulfill that, because Dan felt his gut pulling, telling him that maybe soulmates were real. Maybe Phil was his.

"Five minutes left!" Phil said, excitedly. He had his mouth wide open and Dan could hear his heart beating.

Dan glanced at his watch. Four minutes more.

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I wanna tell you."

Phil didn't seem to be paying much attention. He was too distracted with the clock than what Dan was going to say.

What was he going to say?

He loved him? He thought they were soulmates? Did he even have proof?

It wasn't silent, so there must've been another reason for Phil to be ignoring him. Dan wondered.

That was before Phil grabbed his hands, making Dan stare at his blue eyes. They were striking and they seemed to pull Dan closer.

"3, 2, 1-"

Phil's lips crashed against Dan in a gentle way. Dan let go of Phil's hands as he shut his eyes close. His hands were trying to find Phil. They rested on his neck and he heard people screaming in the background, cheering for January 1. But they didn't matter. Dan cared for Phil and he knew Phil cared for him.

They were running out of breaths but Dan couldn't get enough of Phil's pumpkin spice flavored lips. He wanted this to last forever but he infinite was still just a second to the universe.

They pulled away.

"So."

"So?" Dan panted, pecking a soft kiss on Phil's smooth skin. Phil grabbed the back of Dan's head and they touched their foreheads together. Blue on brown. Phil was smiling.

They kept pecking other parts of the others face. Cheek, nose,glabella. Little pecks on the lips. They held hands. They kissed again, like the first one. Dan felt like his heart skyrocketed.

"Happy New Year, Phil."

"Happy New Year, Dan."

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 **A/N: Hope u like this! Favorite, Follow, Review! :***


	2. Happy Anniversary

**Genre:** Angst

 **Word count:** 1523

TW: smoking, non graphic suicidal thoughts, death mention

Phil's legs were dangling up above the streets, on the roof of his flat. He was resting on his wrists. His hand was gripping the edge, knuckles were white, the other was balancing the roll of tobacco between his middle finger and his index finger.

He felt vulnerable. His chest felt heavy. He was disordered, dark circles occupied the under of his eyes, he was paler than usual, and he wore the same pair of jeans for three days straight.

The city roared its loud, obnoxious song, honks as drums and murmurs as guitars. It was as alive as ever, and Phil hated it. The city shouldn't feel lively, especially before tomorrow.

But the universe won't stop for Phil's petty, little problems. He was just a small dot in the vast universe full of larger celestial beings. They were bigger than Phil, more important than him, he's sure of it. Maybe this time, the universe will listen and shush the noisy sounds London makes.

He lifted his hand to observe the cigarette that was burning between his fingertips. It glowed as the smoke billowed. He placed it between his lips, inhaling. He closed his eyes, dropping his head and released the toxic nicotine that joined the dark sky. He tried to listen to the cheers of the people below him.

The noise drowned somewhere behind his mind so that the only things he could hear was silence and his shaky breaths, which were barely audible. His free hand tapped the cement as his leg began to dance.

He opened his eyes and sighed. He was happy Louise wasn't paying a visit. She would kill him if she ever saw Phil smoking again. She never saw the joy in it, how stress relieving it is to let go of the poison inside your body. It gave Phil happiness, a chance to exhale and relax.

Phil wasn't a regular smoker. He tried to avoid having to light a cigarette twice a week. He wasn't ignorant about the health issues this activity caused. He only carried a lighter and a pack for when he had bad days. Today, he left his pack in his coat pocket at home, desperately needing a remedy.

Dan pushed open the heavy door and sat beside Phil, who was exhaling dark clouds of toxin. Dan leaned back and balanced himself on the elbows and smiled softly at Phil.

It was October 18, a day before their anniversary. They were on the roof, watching the horizon.

Dan was wearing a black shirt and jeans, his hair curly, just as Phil liked it. He bumped his shoulder with Phil's.

The sun was pouring onto the roof with bright shades of yellow and red. The air was hot and sticky and Phil felt like he was on fire. He was sweating so much while Dan wore the hottest color.

Phil was wondering how.

He puffed another cloud to the air, watching it dissipate into the atmosphere. Dan squeezed his hand tightly, as if he was afraid to let go. Phil placed his cigarette between his lips. They didn't talk for a while. The quiet never bothered Phil.

"Bad day?" Dan asked, tracing Phil's knuckles, staring at them with his brown eyes. Phil stared at Dan in return, and was still amused by his perfect features.

His brown hair was swept by the wind and his hand. He had these unique set of features that made him beautiful. His dimples showed when he did his little smile. His tongue licked his upper lip, the way they did when he was concentrating. His legs were crossed and his arms were pale. He leaned forward, joining Phil in his attempt to blow out the pungent smell of tobacco.

He took the cigarette out of Phil's pink lips with his thumb and index finger. He bit the paper and took a breath. He turned his head to Phil, blowing the smoke onto his face as Phil closed his eyes.

"It was a terrible day." Phil finally answered him, gently taking back his cigarette.

"Must be, considering that I found you trying to blow your life away."

Phil gave him a sad look. But he nodded and Dan pecked his lips, taking the cigar sneakily and tapping it on his knee, letting the ash drop and the fire die.

He pecked Phil again, this time on the neck.

He got an abruptly stopped moan.

"Phil?" Dan placed his soft hands on Phil's face, his face full of concern, and guilt, as if Phil being sad had anything to do with him. "I'm sorry."

Phil had had his eyes closed. He bit his lip and touched Dan's hand with precaution. Dan felt so far and he felt so lost when he didn't have any physical contact with him.

His voice was barely above a whisper. "Don't be."

Phil's eyes stung.

His hand gripped the edge of the flat too forcefully, his dropped his cigar onto the pavement and was reaching for his phone.

The moon was shining down on him and Phil's face scrunched a little. He let go of the edge and clicked the button.

His fingers did the pattern that shot through his mind like a bullet, a pattern he'd been dialing since 2009. The ring felt like vibrations and he pressed his phone against his ear and sighed. The familiar sound of laughter clouded his ears.

He remembered recording the exact same audio with Dan.

 _The sunrise dragged itself into the room in a lazy way that matched the mood. Dust specks flew around, drifting in front of Dan and Phil's faces as they examined the voice mail accessory._

" _Phil-okay. How do we do this?" Dan grinned, examining his phone and glancing at Phil, who stared at him, memorizing his features._

Phil heard four rings and almost considered hanging up. Maybe he wasn't ready for his voice yet, maybe he'd breakdown and make a huge mistake whilst on the roof of a four-storey building. He bit his lower lip as the vibrating rings became stopped laughter, or the breath you make after laughing too hard, that sharp inhale you make, trying hard to keep a straight face. Phil's eyes sparkled.

"You have reached the Howell landline-what? Like you can do better." Dan was saying in the recording.

 _Dan slightly punched Phil's shoulder with a smile. His dimples more prominent than ever. They were sitting on the couch, drinking coffee before Dan decided to, finally, record voice mail._

 _It had been a long day and it wasn't even finished yet. It was early afternoon and Phil rested his head on Dan's shoulders, feeling it shake in sync with his laughter._

Dan from the audio recording began to laugh, and Phil joined him a little too late. His chuckles felt hollow, as if he was just choking out what he remembered and forced it into the present.

He spun around and did a little cough. He needed to rest, yet he still had his phone stuck to his ear. Dan instructed to leave a message after the beep and Phil hung up. He didn't want that part of the call.

He thought he'd never mind the quiet, he thought silence was bearable. But, now, it felt sick and violent even. It felt like it was a scream to him about how lonely he is and he hated it.

-0o0-

"A yellow dandelion?" The cashier had this look directed to Phil.

Phil tried to ignore it. He just wanted to pay for the goddamn flower. Dandelions. Phil almost huffed.

Dandelions were hybrids of Dan and Phil's favorites. Dan loved the color yellow (if black wasn't a choice). He also loved the petals and how they looked like the bright sun in the center of their universe. Phil loved the lions part and the "Dan" in the beginning.

Phil hailed a taxi in no hurry, but still eager to get to his destination. The cabbie he got seemed friendly; Phil wasn't interested to talk right now. He told the cabbie where he was going and the cabbie's face, Phil learned that his name was Jacob, darkened a shade. Phil felt a little bad about it.

Phil soon got out of the cab after paying a small amount of money. He slammed the door shut and squeezed his eyes and his hands. His lips closed and his chest was thumping loudly.

The sun was setting too slowly on the horizon. Why couldn't it sink quicker? Was it not in a hurry? Phil wanted to change direction and sob behind a stop sign.

This was just another nightmare he'd hope to wake up from.

He pinched himself, flinching as he did and he opened the gates. The cold breeze swept around him, making his coat fly and his lips blue.

He knelt down and set the dandelion on the ground. His eyes stung again, his throat felt constricted and he felt sick. He broke, he broke into shards of pain and sadness. He'd shattered but managed a little cough of words.

"Happy anniversary, Dan." He said, whilst stroking the tombstone that was marked _Daniel James Howell_.

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 **A/N: fav, follow, review! :* (this is also available in wattpad and ao3)**


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